“Christmas Adam”

Nativity SceneFrom Urban Dictionary: Christmas Adam

Word of the day…

Definition:

1. The day before Christmas Eve. Since Adam was created before Eve, and the need to be equitable in the holiday season, Christmas Adam creates further anticipation of Christmas Day.

Usage:

“When is your family coming to our place?”
“On Christmas Adam and leaving New Year’s Day.”

Enjoy the rest of Christmas Adam, have a great Christmas Eve, and a blessed Christmas day!!

Proving God Exists

Hat tip to Mark Berry at Way Out West for this post:

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington Chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so “profound” that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, “It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,” and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct……leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting “Oh my God.”

This student received the only “A” grade.

Dinner Party

Just seen this post from Marko where he’s writing about an imaginary dinner party that you can invite anyone along to (alive or dead). He’s following someone else’s lead, but goes on to add a couple more rules. In particular, I draw your attention to:

“Jesus doesn’t count. It’s a dinner party. Therefore, 2 or more are gathered. Therefore, Jesus is already there.”

Also love the idea of the “magic instant translation technology” – where can I get that and does it translate from “Chav” on the fly?